BLENDING FAMILIES

WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT

SUCCESSFULLY BLENDING FAMILIES

“Did you ever notice how The Brady Bunch got just about all their step family challenges worked out in the first episode?” asks Ron Deal of Successful Stepfamilies.

Ron works alongside a growing number of ministries coaching families on Biblical principles to overcome the challenges of blending their families. Any home in which at least one spouse brings children from a prior relationship knows that it is much harder in real life than it was for  the Brady family. That’s why blended families need to add an extra measure of intentionality including several important steps.

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WHAT CAN YOU DO?

STEP 1
RECOGNIZE A HIGHER CALLING

Even though blended families are becoming a more common family structure, making them work well remains a real challenge due to the extra logistics and emotional landmines that are part of merging two homes into one.

The additional challenges you face in building a strong marriage and family make following Jesus’ example of laying down your life for others even more essential. That calling is clear in the letter Paul wrote to the Philippians:

Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness (Philippians 2:4-7).

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STEP 2
FOCUS ON THE CHILDREN

Various family experts stress that strong families start with strong marriages – as the relational health of the couple goes, so goes that of the children. That’s not necessarily the priority, however, with blended families. Ron Deal has found that couples must first invest in the children they’ve brought together in order to be able to experience a growing marriage.

This is especially true in the area of establishing authority. Children need parents to exercise legitimate authority over them. Unfortunately, children often see the authority exercised by non-biological parents as illegitimate.

When this becomes evident, stepparents are tempted to either bulldoze their way to authority or just leave most of the work to the biological parent. Either of these options leads to greater stress. Non-biological parents still need to exercise an appropriate measure of authority – but they do need to earn respect, not just demand it.

Ask the Lord to give you an extra measure of patience and humility in dealing with stepchildren – especially when you know they have experienced the pain of divorcing parents or the grief of a deceased mom or dad which can cause long-term emotional trauma.

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STEP 3
ALLOW GOD TO REDEEM YOUR STORY

In Joel 2:25, God says, “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten.”

Every stepfamily brings with it the hope for a redeemed life story – the hope that difficult chapters of the past can be followed by better days. Stepfamilies quickly learn that better days don’t appear magically.

As they submit to God’s calling and trust His ability to write their stories, however, they find He is still able to make all things new.

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COKER UNITED METHODIST CHURCH CARES

WE CAN HELP

GOING FURTHER

RESOURCES

  • Familylife.com/blended

    Provides biblically based resources that help prevent re-divorce, strengthen step-families, and help break the generational cycle of divorce.

Coker Kids

Coker United Methodist Church offers a variety of programs that come alongside parents in their effort to instill faith in children including age-graded classes, camps, and much more. For more information, visit coker.org/cokerkids

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Coker Youth

In an effort to come alongside parents, Coker United Methodist Church sponsors a range of ministries for teens. If your student needs a pastor speaking into his or her life, visit the website at coker.org/cokeryouth to explore opportunities for getting your child connected to one of the student pastors.

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Small Groups

Coker United Methodist Church is committed to helping others through every stage of life. Our Small Groups are a great way foster a deepened prayer life, understanding of Scripture, and experience the joys of having loving Christian fellowship through all the highs and lows of life.

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You’re not alone. We would love to pray for and with you as you seek God’s peace amid whatever troubles and trials you may be facing in this chapter of your life.

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We have a variety of services for you to choose from including a traditional service, a contemporary service, and a Hispanic service as well. We want everyone to be able to worship in an environment that is comfortable and more importantly connects them to God.

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OUR CHURCH

Coker United Methodist Church is a friendly, family-oriented, mission-minded church in San Antonio, Texas. Our desire is to minister to you and your loved ones and to Love God + Serve Others + Change the World.

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